Logo der persönlichen Partnervermittlung im Herzen von Zürich

Mature women have a harder time

Kathrin Grüneis arranges Freie Herzen in her dating agency. Sometimes the 46-year-old knows straight away which of her clients are a good match.

Marcel Reuss spoke with Kathrin Grüneis

Mrs. Grüneis, there’s a box of Kleenex. Does the desire for love make your customers cry?
The box was put there by my colleague, a coach with whom I share this office. But yes, I’ve already cried too. A woman who was looking for someone, but had absolutely not yet broken up with her ex-husband. A year later, she came back.

What can you do as a matchmaker that the Internet can’t?
Anyone who comes to me is seriously looking for a partner, which in turn gives my members security because they are just as seriously looking for one. The inhibition threshold is lower on the Internet. You still have a husband, a wife and still quickly check your market value. Or is looking for someone to have an affair with, without even indicating it.

Conversely, what can online dating do better than you?
Since I talk to people in person, my capacity is limited and my database is smaller. The choice is much greater on the Internet. The question is what counts more: Quantity or quality?

Perhaps the price? What would it cost me to find a wife?
I offer a passive and active form of membership. Passive means that you are in my database. If a lady is looking for someone like you, you are the one to call. With active membership I guarantee four to six proposals, you can meet all the ladies I have on file. I am actively looking for someone suitable in my networks.

And how much would it cost?
I will be happy to tell you if you really want to become a member.

You have the best job in the world, you write on your website. What are its unattractive sides?
To make two people happy, that is my wish and goal. But sometimes it takes time to find the right person. Or – as in real life – someone falls in love and the other doesn’t. There is something sad about teaching that.

Do you receive calls at night from customers who have left?
I get text messages more often and of course someone calls sometimes, for example out of desperation when the man has run away. In such a situation, however, I can do no more than refer them to the specialists I work with.

When you see someone, do you know immediately who would fit?
This has actually happened to me and it worked. As a rule, however, this results from the conversation and from the feedback I receive after a meeting. I don’t know how someone will behave on a date.

Which illusion do you need to dispel first?
I have to make it clear that I can make suggestions, but I have no influence on whether it works.

What have you learned about men and women in these two years?
I have become more aware of how many more women there are who are open to a new relationship. That the older men are, the more choice they have, but that more mature women have a harder time finding someone. Because the men are looking for someone younger. Because, according to the age pyramid, there are fewer men and they are even more reserved. Then there’s how much ideas of perfection can get in the way. It’s okay if you’re looking for Mr. or Miss Right, but if it has to be Mr. or Miss Perfect, then it becomes difficult.

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