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Couples need freedom

The dating agency tries to match singles – with varying degrees of success

Dating agencies advertise that they can help customers find their ideal partner. If things don’t work out after all, it can be stressful, says mediator Kathrin Grüneis.

There are over 500 dating internet portals in Switzerland. Do we still need you?
Yes. Many of my customers have already looked for a partner online, but have not found what they were looking for.

How often do couples get together thanks to you?
Every four to six weeks.

That rare? The internet platform Parship, for example, advertises a success rate of 38 percent, Elitepartner even claims 42 percent.
The question is what is considered successful mediation. It’s not enough for me if there’s just a spark between two people for a few weeks – I’m aiming for longer-term relationships. I don’t know whether internet platforms “calculate” in the same way.

You have a responsibility for other people’s happiness. How do you deal with this?
I want to meet the expectations of my customers. This can sometimes be stressful. When a customer complains about their date, it really gets to me. Or when the marriage of a couple I set up fails – and they blame me for the break-up. There must be
I can separate myself emotionally.

According to federal figures, one in four people in Switzerland is single. Why is it so difficult to find a partner?
The Swiss are generally very reserved. They find it difficult to take the first step.

Do people have the wrong or too high expectations?
Yes, some singles take a narrow-minded approach to their search. You have a precise idea of what hair color, figure or size your partner should have. But it is much more important that you are a good match in terms of character.

What fits better: similar or different partners?
Hard to say. With different characters, it can be exciting, but it can also often come to blows. If you are similar, it might get a bit boring. Ultimately, the question is how the partners develop individually and together. For example, I believe in life stage partners.

What do you mean?
People change. You don’t have to cling desperately to a relationship that isn’t working.

You are an expert on love, but live in a patchwork family yourself.
Yes, my daughter’s father just left me with the child. Incidentally, I got to know him when I was a client of a dating agency myself.

Then the mediation was not successful for you!
Yes, I have a really great daughter. And no agent could have foreseen the problems we had as a couple.

What is the secret of a good relationship for you?
Open spaces are important. You should say goodbye to the idea that your partner has to share all your hobbies and needs with you. That gets boring in the long run. I, for example, also like to go on vacation alone.